Simon Lane/Quotes

This is a complete list of notable quotes from Simon Lane. This page was created in order to reduce the time it takes to load the Simon Lane page and keep things tidier!

Quotes

 * "I'm thirty-two years old!"
 * "Follow me! I'll lead the way!"
 * "Follow you! You'll lead the way!"
 * "Lewis, when there's blame, there's claim." (Talking about Yogcave ruins + Quoting insurance advert)
 * Everything is pointless now! No!" (When Bill was found dead in Left 4 Dead 2.)
 * "Ohhhh, mmmmm, ohh granny..."
 * "Your fishy goodness really hit the spot...."
 * "Fack off!"
 * "Okay, Lewis, we don't want to upset her or falsely accuse her... What the hell is going on, you crazy broad!?"
 * "Uguu!"
 * "Simon... Away!"
 * "Careful now!"
 * "Good effort, good effort."
 * "Do you like bees?"
 * "I've seen bigger..."
 * "He'll own us, because we're incompetent."
 * "What the fuck? What the hell is this??...Oh it's just cloud"
 * "See ya later shit lord!"
 * "Get outta here ya bum!"
 * "Im cooking some delicious ham."
 * "Diggy diggy hole"
 * "I'm digging a hole"
 * /give honeydew 46 1
 * /give honeydew 64 1
 * "BLLLUUUUERRRGGG" (imitating throwing up)
 * "Lewis, I threw my sword at it."
 * "I poosh buttan!"
 * "I cast spell!"
 * "Magic missile, magic missile..."
 * "I cast healing spell!"
 * "Thanks for the record, fuckface."
 * "Balls to it, Lewis. Balls to it."
 * "Balls to YOU!"
 * "It's been a long day, I'm gonna turn in."
 * "The thing is..."
 * "Come on, LET'S DO THIS!"
 * "That's a very nice everything you have there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it ."
 * "Hellooo..."
 * "The size... of a tangerine ballsack."
 * "COME 'ERE!" (Pronounced in a Northern English way; ie: "COOM EE-YER")
 * "You are literally worse than Hitler."
 * "We didn't burn anything!"
 * "I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! I'm digging a hooolee!"
 * "I am a dwarf and I'm having a sleep! Sleepy Sleepy Dwarf!"
 * "I am a house and I'm floating in air! Floaty floaty house!"
 * "Ya bugger!"
 * "You're like the anti-King Midas. Everything you touch just turns to shit!"
 * "I'm not saying I did die, I'm saying I may have died."
 * "Why don't we just hack the game, give ourselves some TNT, and plonk it down!"
 * "Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!"
 * "A R S E is the best spell combo" (During Magicka gameplay)
 * "For KHAZ MODAN!"
 * "Oh no! Skellingtons!"
 * "I am strong! Like MOOSE!"
 * "Smug Face... :3"
 * "I shot my bolt!"
 * "A lovely Jaffa cake..."
 * "Why! Oh God Why!" - most common statement at time of character death.
 * "It's like the Batcave, only shit." (Upon inspecting the Yogcave)
 * "Harry would never fucking do that! Oh Voldemort just fucking kill him, just fucking kill him!"
 * "Oh God! I'm swimming in other people's feculence, Lewis!"
 * "SPLEEF!? S-PLEEEF?"
 * "OOP! Shit!"
 * "I love the smell of A R S E in the morning"
 * "Come on! WTF Blizz!"
 * "Nooooooo!! Why would you do that?"
 * "What...THE HELL?!"
 * "Aaaah, this is scary! I want to play Portal 2!"
 * "Pigu is Japanese for pig"
 * "So many spiders!"
 * "Lewis, we're going to save the world."
 * "No big deal."
 * "Achinga chonga, hinga gonga!"
 * "We don't like spiders!"
 * Lewis: "For every tree we burn down we're gonna plant 2 more." Simon: "Yeah, yeah yeah yeah and then we're gonna burn those fuckers too."
 * "Maintenant, en trois deux !"
 * "LEEEEEE-eeee-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWIS !!!"
 * "I put the heating on." (sets the Yogcave wooden floor on fire)
 * "LOOKS FUCKING SHIT!!"
 * "Oh Gods!"
 * "Stop whining and go bloody kill them..for christs sake".
 * "Why would you do that?"
 * "See you later, shitlords!"
 * "Fucking hells bells!"
 * "SCRAMBLED!" (in the voice of Brian Blessed)
 * "Do I not look dapper in my rabbit hat?"
 * "Aha! Green green green, white green green, white green white, green green green, greeny white greeny green green arse green white pe’er green…arse."
 * Richard Dawkins. Deal with it, motherfucker. *Whack!*
 * "He's like a timelord, but he's a skylord. I'd rather have a tardis to be honest"
 * "So we're on a tour.... hah, He stops here and says 'This is Old_Pecuilar's burnt down house.'. "
 * "ZZzzzZZZ mmmm Tina Barret ZZZ zZZZ zz OOOh Tina yes! Another Jaffa Cake would be lovely!"
 * "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!!!"
 * They're coming from the ceilling, THEY ARE COMING FROM EVERYWHERE!!!"
 * "Winter's coming, and so am I, Uggh"
 * "I'm coming washing mashine, I'm FUCKING COMING...FOR FUCK SAKE!"
 * (upon encountering a creeper whilst on a ladder) "OH SHIT! Get back down, get back down, GET BACK DOWN NOW!"
 * "I was just satting around."
 * "Get back in the FUCKING cupboard under the stairs, Simon Junior!"
 * "I don't know how to say this without giving away what I might be up too but, I'm having trouble planting TNT"
 * "Now, people say, which is the better game? Torchlight 2 or Diablo III, and I say, there is no better game they both own and if you think otherwise you're fucking crazy."
 * "Take that you rotter!"
 * (on dwarf anatomy) "Dwarves, their willies are in their beards and their brains are in their bum."
 * "Yeah, I've got no fucking idea as well, love."
 * They're coming out of the walls! THEY'RE COMING OUT OF THE GOD DAMN WALLS!!
 * HAT BOOOOOOOOOY!!
 * "where Is Drugs?"
 * "Come on in!! You want some punch?"
 * "Do I look like a fucking goblin!" (Whilst playing Magicka with Lewis and TotalBiscuit).
 * "No Hannah the Geckos are cute."(The first Fallout New Vegas video when talking to Hannah)
 * When I grow up, I want to be a potato!
 * "Make money, fuck bitches, smoke trees. Wisdom."
 * "Come get me you motherless beasts! That's just getting cocky, isn't it?"
 * You're just a chick magnet, aren't you?
 * They can't be killed! We need to destroy the Horcruxes first!
 * "R.I.P. Yogcave. Never Forget"
 * "Old Woman! I demand your finest bacon!"
 * "Precious dirt"
 * "Lewis, we are going to save the world"
 * "Oop"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!"
 * "Sjin banged his shin?"
 * "Thats all very interesting Lewis but I think i've just been violated by a bird... A teacher... A bird teacher, just violated me... He took my innocence!"
 * "Roses are red / Violets are blue / Just like a hole / I really dig you :D"
 * "I'm the most qualified person by failing an astrophysics degree... This is not a﻿ good situation"
 * (singing) LAR LAR LAR! OFF I GO TO FIND THE TREASURE!"
 * "Hello! I'm a sorting hat! You're in Hufflepuff! LOL." 'But I wanted to be in Gryffindor, Stupefy, Stupefy!!' (Simon's visit to Disney)
 * "Look at my cacti. My cacti's amazing"
 * "That's just careless. Who put the end of the world there?"
 * (drinking water before going into desert against Lewis's wishes) I'm thirsty! I haven't had a cup of tea in months!"
 * "You know how they say it's a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there? Well this isn't even a nice place to visit."
 * "OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL!!"
 * "Okay okay, ABORT! ABORT!"
 * (narrator voice) "Mila Kunis was standing there completely naked!"
 * (narrator voice) "Martyn Littlewood was standing there completely naked! HELLO EVERYBODY~"
 * "I beg your pardon?"
 * "A Space Creeper?" (Galacticraft)
 * "My Uranus is not safe..." (Galacticraft)
 * "Did you say bollock holes? What is a bollock hole?"
 * (when talking about how small drinks aren't available anymore) "It's like condom sizes, they don't come in small, and God knows I've tried! Wait what?"
 * "A tin of beans and a rice crispy square."
 * "One day I'll be Gary Barlow."
 * (robot voice) "GAME OVER"
 * Simon: "Oh balls, I died." Lewis: "You died completely?" Simon: "No I died partially, you..."
 * "STAIRS? WE DON'T LIKE STAIRS? OH WE'RE NOT SCARED OF THEM~ UP I GO, LA-LA-LA! EXTERMINATE! ANNIHILATE! DESTROY ALL HUMAAAANS!" (Simon doing a Dalek impression using Grizwold's voice)
 * "We don't just play the game, we make videos about it as well and loads of people watch them. Literally dozens of people." (On the Shaft)
 * "Lewis, I want you to print out that e-mail and then I want you to burn it." (About a terrible e-mail they got)
 * "That was terrible! I don't know what the opposite of an erection is but I currently have it." (Simon on a terrible voice Lewis did)
 * "That's Black Beauty! I mean Airwolf was black and it was beautiful, but it wasn't a horse!" (Simon when Lewis sang a melody wrong)
 * "BRINDLEY! WHAT IS A GRAVITY?" (Simon's impression of Lewis' secondary school teacher)
 * "Har-harrrr, see yer laterr Dunc'n, ya, ya gobshite!" (Pirate Simon)
 * Lewis: "I thought there was gonna be like a banner that you'd put in your signature, like you are a... a red..." Simon: "A retard! You are a window-licker!" (Simon and Lewis after a test
 * Lewis: "...he's got a son, who is..." Simon: "Warwick Davis!" Lewis: "...retarded." Simon: "Oh! Oh god!"
 * Lewis: "What I thought we'd do is ... What I thought, I was, I watched, I wa... wach *gibberish*" Simon: "A waha, wababa wawawa wababa... you alright man? You alright?" Lewis: "Let's start again, ok, let's just do, this is like um... we need to... we... *gibberish*" Simon: "Awhawhahbaba, wahahabbawahaba... you're just deranged today, aren't you."
 * "There was that time he was pissing around with guttering on the roof and he fell off of the ladder and broke his neck, but then he got up with a broken neck, and he, like, went 'kkkchchkhh' with his head to straighten his neck and carried on. *annoyed old man voice* 'Oh dear, oh dear, oh, I, I've fallen off the roof! Oh for goodness sake.'"
 * "Oh my god, that needs to be in the game right now..I dont care what it is or what it does, it just looks amazing!"
 * "... games in which you can create anything, one of the first things people do is they do is like dicks, and the other thing is they do giant Nyan Cats. It's... every single time."
 * "Well that's just the icing on the shit cake"
 * "Oh well, let's go through this spider-infested shit-hole."
 * "Considering the game is a fucking MMO, you'd think there'd be more... ah, bastards..."
 * "I'm boss, back off!"