Carrot For A Cock

Carrot For A Cock is a song, sung by Simon Lane, released on the 14th December 2014. It was released as a donation goal during the 2014 annual Christmas Livestreams. The video was animated by Ciaran Askew. The song is available on Bandcamp and iTunes, and radio edit version was also made and is available on Bandcamp, here.

Plot and Summary
The song mainly includes Simon, as he builds a snowman at Christmas time. He finds a traditional carrot for a nose for the snowman, but trips and the carrot goes below the waist.

Other Yogscast members also feature in the video, appearing surprised of the placement of the carrot.

Later in the song, the snowman melts, but soon enough, another snowman is made, placing the carrot in the same place. Multiple snowmen are then created.

The song ends with the snowman waving.

Lyrics
I remember when it all went wrong Guzzling eggnog all night long We went outside The snow was thick Rolled our balls together made a snowman quick

Erecting a friend but there’s something left Had to indulge in some carrot theft To make him whole We raided the salad bowl To give him a classic nose

I slipped and fell when I put it on Stuck the veg where it didn’t belong I went for his face, but i hit below the waist And now he’s got a root vegetable dong

He’s got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock) And it gives you quite a shock (Oh, it’s unexpected) When you see it in the flesh, so orange and so fresh Looks like its just been pulled from the ground

He’s got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock) It’s the biggest on the block (oh what a massive one) The neighbours were upset, my dad saw it as a threat it stood so mighty and so proud

Some kind of magic happened then (Uh Oh) He came alive and he was real my friend An excited expression twinkled in his eyes We looked on in surprise as it started to rise

Scarf around his neck, his arms are made of bark Get down on your knees he’ll help you see in the dark He has a filthy addiction Veg on veg friction Behind the bushes down in the park

He’s got many dirty habits and it’s terrified of rabbits He’ll make you moan he’s organically grown

He’s got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a Cock) You know it’s hard as rock (Oh what a crunchy cock) He’s got coal on his head, No meat but one veg He’s packing so much more than just snow (Ho ho ho!)

He’s got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock) But his life’s against the clock (Oh such a crying shame) ‘Cause as the sun rose, they’d gritted the road All was left was his bright amber chode

You’ll remember this December, when you dream of his member Now all that’s left is his salty sludge Next time it snows, you all will know He’s coming on you from above He’s just snowing you all of his love

He has a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock) He’s a friend you just can’t knock (Oh we want him back!) So when it gets chilly just whip out his willy Scoop up snow and he’s ready to go

They all have carrots for a cock (Carrots for a cock) A movement you can’t be stopped (It’s a revolution) To make a new best friend, just follow this trend Give him a vegetable bell end

CARROT FOR A COCK! YAY!

Trivia

 * The backing vocals were sung by Sparkles*
 * The song was co-written by Simon, Lewis and Sparkles*
 * Sam Gibbs produced the radio edit version, Carrot for a Nose