Simon Lane

Simon Lane is a member of the Yogscast, and a good friend of Lewis Brindley. Simon once visited the Dalai Lama in Tibet, and kissed him full on the mouth. He was born as a result of a torrid union between a dwarven prostitute and Samuel Pepys in 1666 during the Great Fire of London. Simoo a budding songwriter. He originally made covers of Parry Gripp songs (Shopping Penguin and Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway) but has now written a song of his own inspired by Parry Gripp called "Elephant Having A Wank". One of Simons most endearing songs is 'Diggy Diggy Hole', an instant hit with the Yonaughts, and wider circles within the music industry. These songs probably have a lot to do with the fact that Simon enjoys cute animals which is quite noticeable in the "Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!" video. Simon also has an extreme fondness for Jaffa Cakes.

Simon is a world renown strongman and sex icon, winning the World's Sexiest Man contest for three consecutive years, from 1981-1983.

Simon is not currently playing World of Warcraft, but he was most recently playing Honeybeard, a level 85 Hunter.

Notable Quotes
This is a constantly evolving list of Simon's sayings and quirky running jokes.


 * "Balls to it, Lewis. Balls to it."
 * "It's been a long day, I'm gonna turn in."
 * "The thing is..."
 * "Come on LET'S DO THIS!"
 * "That's a very nice everything you have there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it ."
 * "Hellooo..."
 * "The size... of a tangerine."
 * "COME 'ERE!"
 * "You are literally worse than Hitler."
 * "We didn't burn anything!" BALLS TO YOU
 * "Diggy Diggy Hole"
 * "Ya bugger!"
 * "You're like the anti King Midas. Everything you touch just turns to shit!"
 * "I'm not saying I did die, Im saying I may have died."
 * "Oh this is just taking the piss...."
 * "Why don't we just hack the game, give ourselves some TNT, and plonk it down!"
 * "Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!"
 * "A R S E is the best spell combo"
 * "For KHAZ MODAN!"
 * "Smug Face... :3"
 * "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!"
 * "I shot my Bolt!"
 * "A lovely Jaffa..."
 * "Why! Oh God Why!" - most common statement at time of character death.
 * "SPAWN THE BABBY!"
 * "It's like the Batcave, only shit."
 * "Follow me! I'll lead the way!"
 * "FUCK OFF!"
 * "FUCK OFF, MR ASTLEY!"

Solo Projects in Association with Yogscast
Simon has, on rare occasion, managed to hijack the BlueXephos channel on YouTube, enabling him to post content in which he is the central character. This content tends to be superficially innocent and light, but upon closer examination reveals a twisted, diabolical malevolance and passive agressive Machiavellian instinct that can only mean Simon's ultimate goal for the Yogscast is total world domination. These videos generally fall into two basic yet far reaching categories, which are: Simon Sings, and Simon Plays.

The Simon Plays (insert title here) series are simple Let's Play videos of various computer / console games, ocasionally voiced in character, with a narrarive thread roughly maintained throughout the video.

The Simon's Songs series of videos is a collection of brief musical interludes wherin Simon does his best vocal impersonation of a cat being used to clean a rug. These videos demonstrate Simon's mind at work, as he eventually arrives at the perfect understanding of the two key critical lyrical elements that have defined success for one of his favorite musical artists, Parry Grip, culminating in what is bound to be one of the top music videos of 2011, Elephant Ha          IM GAY WITH LEWIS AND FUCK YOU FUMBLEMMORE

ving A Wank. The actual category the video will fall in to (best or worst of 2011) is still in doubt.

Conspiracy Theories
It has been said that Simon is a member of the secret society known as The 1956 Club.