Simon Lane



Simon Lane makes up 1/3 of the current Yogscast crew. He is often viewed as the trusty sidekick of Lewis due to Lewis's far superior intellectual capabilities however a large number of fans consider him either equal to or more superior than Lewis. His IGN is usually Honeydew and he plays a dwarf in any situations where he can. Simon is a world renowned strongman, entertainer, astronaut and, of course, a budding musician. One of Simons most endearing songs is 'Diggy Diggy Hole', an instant hit with the Yognaughts, and wider circles within the music industry, including jesus. Simon enjoys cute animals which is quite noticeable in the "Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!" video and Simon also has an extreme fondness for Jaffa Cakes. His Minecraft talents are hunting pigs, riding pigs, talking to pigs, being a pig whisperer, having stare downs with pigs, forcing Lewis to rides pigs, eating pigs, burning pigs, burning trees, burning wool, burning the wooden floor of the Yogcave, burning other players, burning grass, and burning Lewis. For some reason, Simon seems to think that Nicholas Le Bas is a twat. Simon is not currently playing World of Warcraft, but he was most recently not playing Honeybeard, a level 95 Hunter.

Notable Quotes
This is a constantly evolving list of Simon's sayings and quirky running jokes.


 * "Okay, Lewis, we don't want to upset her or falsely accuse her...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON YOU CRAZY BROAD!"
 * "Uguu~ ^_^"
 * "Simon... Away!"
 * "Careful now!"
 * "Good effort, good effort."
 * "Do you like bees?"
 * I've Seen Bigger.
 * "He'll own us, because we're incompetent."
 * "What the fuck? What the hell is this??...Oh it's just cloud"
 * "See ya later shit lord!"
 * "Get outta here ya bum!"
 * "Im cooking some delicious ham."
 * "Diggy diggy hole"
 * "I'm digging a hole"
 * /give honeydew 46 1
 * "BLLLUUUUERRRGGG" (imitating throwing up)
 * "Lewis, I threw my sword at it."
 * "I POOSH﻿ BUTTAN!"
 * "A NETHER CHICKEN!"
 * "Thanks for the record, fuckface."
 * "Balls to it, Lewis. Balls to it."
 * "It's been a long day, I'm gonna turn in."
 * "The thing is..."
 * "Come on LET'S DO THIS!"
 * "That's a very nice everything you have there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it ."
 * "Hellooo..."
 * "The size... of a tangerine ballsack."
 * "COME 'ERE!" (Pronounced in a Northern English way; ie: "COOM EE-YER")
 * "You are literally worse than Hitler."
 * "We didn't burn anything!"
 * "I am a dwarf and im digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole! I'm digging a hooolee!"
 * "Ya bugger!"
 * "You're like the anti-King Midas. Everything you touch just turns to shit!"
 * "I'm not saying I did die, I'm saying I may have died."
 * "Ahhh! He's killing me, Lewis!"
 * "Why don't we just hack the game, give ourselves some TNT, and plonk it down!"
 * "Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!"
 * "A R S E is the best spell combo"
 * "For KHAZ MODAN!"
 * Oh no! Skellingtons!
 * "Smug Face... :3"
 * "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM WE JUST HELPED HIM WITH TNT!"
 * "I shot my bolt!"
 * "A lovely Jaffa cake..."
 * "Why! Oh God Why!" - most common statement at time of character death.
 * "SPAWN THE BABBY!"
 * "It's like the Batcave, only shit."
 * "Follow me! I'll lead the way!"
 * "Harry would never fucking do that! Oh Voldemort just fucking kill him, just fucking kill him!"
 * "FUCK ME, MR ASTLEY!"
 * "Oh God! I'm swimming in other people's feculence, Lewis!"
 * "SPLEEF!?"
 * "OOP! Shit!"
 * "I love the smell of A R S E in the morning"
 * "Come on! WTF Blizz!"
 * "Nooooooo!! Why would you do that?"
 * "What...THE HELL?!"
 * "Aaaah, this is scary! I want to play Portal 2!"
 * "Piggu, which is Japanese for pig"
 * "So many spider!"
 * "Lewis, we're going to save the world."
 * "No big deal."
 * "Achinga chonga, hinga gonga!"
 * "We don't like spiders!"
 * I'm a dwarf and i'm digging a hole, DIGGY DIGGY HOLE, DIG-ging a hole!
 * "Maintenant, en trois deux !"
 * "LEEEEEE-eeee-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWIS !!!"
 * "I put the heating on."
 * "LOOKS FUCKING SHIT!!."
 * "Oh Gods!"
 * "Stop whining and go bloody kill them..for christs sake".
 * "Why would you do that?"
 * "AHH GOOO! I am an anime!"
 * "SCRAMBLED!" (in the voice of Brian Blessed )
 * "Do I not look dapper in my rabbit hat?"
 * Aha! Green green green, white green green, white green white, green green green, greeny white greeny green green arse green white pe’er green…arse.
 * FOOOLLLLOOOWWW MEEEEE ILL LLEEEAAADDD THEE WAYYYY
 * Richard Dawkins. Deal with it, motherfucker.
 * "JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN!"
 * "SLEEPY SLEEPY DWARFFFFFFFF"
 * OH I'M COMING WASHING MACHINE, I'M COMING... FOR FUCK SAKE!
 * "ZZzzzZZZ OOOh Tina yes! Another Jaffa Cake would be lovely!"
 * "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!!!"
 * They're coming from the ceilling, THEY ARE COMING FROM EVERYWHERE!!!"
 * "Winters coming, and so am I, Uggh"

Solo Projects in Association with Yogscast
Simon has, on rare occasion, managed to hijack the BlueXephos channel on YouTube, enabling him to post content in which he is the central character. This content tends to be superficially innocent and light, but upon closer examination reveals a twisted, diabolical malevolance and passive agressive Machiavellian instinct that can only mean Simon's ultimate goal for the Yogscast is total world domination. These videos generally fall into two basic yet far reaching categories, which are: Simon Sings, and Simon Plays.

The Simon Plays (insert title here) series are simple Let's Play videos of various computer / console games, occasionally voiced in character, with a narrative thread roughly maintained throughout the video.

The Simon's Songs series of videos is a collection of brief musical interludes wherin Simon does his best vocal impersonation of a cat being used to clean a rug. These videos demonstrate Simon's mind at work, as he eventually arrives at the perfect understanding of the two key critical lyrical elements that have defined success for one of his favorite musical artists, Parry Grip, culminating in what is bound to be one of the top music videos of 2011, Elephant Having A Wank. The actual category the video will fall in to (best or worst of 2011) is still in doubt.

Conspiracy Theories
It has been said that Simon is a member of the secret society known as The 1956 Club and may or may not be a Jaffa Cake God.