Simon Lane



"See ya later, Shitlord(s)!"

Simon Charles Lane, born March 14, 1978, is a founding member of the Yogscast, along with Lewis Brindley. His in game name (IGN) is usually Honeydew and he plays a dwarf in any situation he can. Simon is a world renowned strongman, entertainer, astronaut, and, of course, a budding musician. Some of Simon's most endearing songs are "Diggy Diggy Hole", an instant hit with the Yognau(gh)ts, "Elephant Having A Wank," which was a parody of a Parry Gripp song and "Archer Hero". Simon attended the University of Cardiff where he studied astrophysics, however he dropped out before obtaining his degree. For instance, in an episode of YogTrailers, Simon told an embarrassing story about an event that happened during a lecture.

Simon enjoys cute animals which is quite noticeable in the "Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!" sound. Simon also has an extreme fondness for Jaffa Cakes. His Minecraft talents are hunting pigs, riding pigs, talking to pigs, being a pig whisperer, having stare downs with pigs, forcing Lewis to ride pigs, eating pigs, burning pigs, burning trees, burning wool, burning the wooden floor of the Yogcave, burning other players, burning grass, burning Lewis, and eating Jaffas. One of his main Minecraft hobbies is destroying things with TNT, a flint and steel, or both. In Minecraft he role plays as a ginger dwarf.

History
Simon and Lewis began uploading videos to YouTube in July of 2008. Their YouTube channel, BlueXephos, initially started out as a World of Warcraft "How-To" channel, in which they uploaded videos of their guild, Ye Olde Goone Squade, killing bosses, with commentary on how to beat said boss in the foreground. The first episode of the YoGPoD was released in February of 2010 and was recorded during the snowy days of February which occurred that year, thus, the first episode was named "Snowcast." Simon was infamous on the YoGPoD for his laid-back attitude towards his listeners, frequently telling stalkers like Rasmus Richter to "Fuck Off!". Then, in December of 2010, Simon and Lewis started a minecraft series which later diverged into the series that skyrocketed their popularity, Shadow of Israphel.

Yogscast.com Summary
Simon is the creative force behind The Yogscast, known as the singer of "Diggy Diggy Hole" and "The Man of a Thousand Voices, all of which sound oddly similar". Simon’s charm, wit and endearing silliness are unmatched. Simon is the best!

Trivia

 * Simon is known to have a rather ridiculous fondness for Jaffa Cakes, which he mentions in countless videos. His love for Jaffa Cakes ultimately leads Lewis, Duncan, Sjin, and Sips to assist him in building a Jaffa Cake Factory as the goal for their Tekkit series.
 * Simon's bedroom light got shot by Lewis with a confetti gun on their 1 million subscriber celebration video.
 * Simon's car was crushed some time during the early episodes of the YoGPoDs.
 * Inside Simon's bedroom, he has a cardboard cut out of Doctor Who character Amy Pond. Simon's relationship to Amy has been brought up on multiple occasions, notably when Simon goes to kiss Amy on New Year's Day, only for his headset to fall off. It is unknown if he still has this cutout.
 * Simon's obsession with Tina Barrett was revealed to have come from a pilot episode of the YoGPoD which was recorded prior to YoGPoD 1: Snowscast and has yet to be released to the public. This was brought up in the first few episodes of the YoGPoD and, despite being persuaded by Stayven of Ensidia on the Nordrassil Radio Interview, Lewis and Simon don't have plans to release the podcast anytime soon.
 * In the early episodes of the YoGPoD it is revealed that Simon smoked. One particular occasion was when he was "half out the window having a fag", and Lewis was telling him the top 5 jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for that year. Simon no longer smokes but still has nicotine capsules which was revealed on their video, The Dropper 2 Part 2.
 * Sometime during Simon's stay in Cardiff, he was kicked off a radio show after calling the host a bastard, live on air, for interrupting an Alanis Morissette song.
 * Joffo Cake is the name given to Jaffa Cakes by Simon when the breach of copyright may be possible.
 * Simon has once failed a course in astrophysics.
 * In YoGPoD 37 - Hodor!, Lewis says Simon owns a copy of Pokemon White for the Nintendo DS, but Hannah plays it more than he does.
 * His three favourite Pokémon are Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and "Charlizard" (Simon's mis-pronounced name for Charizard).
 * Simon's favourite ride at Disneyland is the frozen banana which he ate. Although it was just a confectionary item, it was also a journey of the mind and spirit.
 * In SethBling's Minecraft map, Pile of Bodies, Honeydew's head had a command block with the command "/give Honeydew 46 64", a reference to the magical spell with the same name.
 * In "InTheLittleBox - Famili.. YOGS!", Martyn Littlewood reported that Simon enjoys singing the phrase "its deep underground!" from Screw The Nether while using the bathrooms at YogTowers due to the echo that room supplies.
 * Simon is an avid Doctor Who fan.
 * Simon will have a role in Warwick Davis' web series, "Dwarves Assemble."
 * Simon once put a tin can in the microwave as said in Planetoids Part 3.
 * SEGA has released a downloadable Simon character for the PC version of Sonic & All-Star Racing Transformed and donated all proceeds to charity.
 * Simon voiced Bubble, one of the two heads of a dragon in the Polaris series of Broken Quest.
 * In Minecraft Diversity #19, Simon confirms that Charles is his middle name.
 * It took 22 episodes for Simon to find out that Shadow of Israphel was scripted.
 * Simon is occasionally joked as the "British Jesse Cox" and Jesse is joked as the "American Simon."
 * Simon thinks American money smells like pus and urine.
 * Simon's birthday is on the date that the 7th YoGPoD was recorded (24th of April?)
 * Simon, along with Lewis, was a guest on episode 23 of The Shaft.
 * Simon mentioned in YoGPoD 27 that the first game he ever played "was most likely Jet Set Willy or something like that". This is most likely referring to Jet Set Radio.
 * Simon is near-sighted as one eye is much worse than his other.
 * As of YoGPoD 27, Simon stated that he had a Blackberry phone, however in Turpster's video about his car dying during the Heroes & Generals Challenge, Simon is seen recording with an iPhone. When this transition happened in unknown.
 * Simon doesn't like rollercoasters.
 * Simon prefers rubber flooring as he can "jump up and down on it like a trampoline".
 * As of YoGPoD 27, the most "baller" thing Simon has ever done was when he once punched a woman whilst in a bear costume.
 * Simon believes that "there are most likely other intelligent creatures in the universe, although we may never meet them".
 * Simon believes that dinosaurs are coloured pink "except for Barney who is coloured purple".
 * Simon to known to have illegally torrented files before and is also known to have illegally emulated games (such as Super Mario Bros and Doctor Mario for the Nintendo DS as well as Pokemon Leafgreen for the Game Boy Advance).
 * Simon once trapped himself in a living room and tried to use a nail-clipper to break himself out. In the process of doing so however, he broke said nail-clipper.
 * Simon once visited a burlesque club in London and wore a bowler hat whilst there.
 * Simon likes eating his own toe-nails.
 * If Simon were a woman, he would lock himself away somewhere and 'play' with himself. Simon mentioned that this was a normal day for him anyway, suggesting that around the time of YoGPoD 17, Simon 'played' with himself (I don't think we need to go into the specifics of what "played with himself" means).
 * As of YoGPoD 17, Simon was around 5 foot and 9 inches.
 * At the beginning of YoGPoD 14, Simon stated that he and his friends had "taken some substances that affect how your mind works" as well as something along the lines of "my mate was smoking something". Lewis later mentioned that "was it just you and him smoking weed?" and Simon doesn't object or argue against this. This confirms that Simon did experiment with drugs when he was "around 20" as he stated in the YoGPoD episode.
 * Simon never left the UK up until 2011 when him and some other members of the Yogscast went to Germany for Gamescom. It wasn't until E3 of the following year (2012) that Simon left Europe.

Notable Quotes

 * For a complete list, see Simon Lane/Quotes.


 * "When I grow up, I'm going to be a potaytoe"
 * "FOLLOW ME, I'LL LEAD THE WAY!"
 * "FACK OFF!"
 * "Uguu~"
 * "See ya later, shitlord(s)!"
 * "Balls to this!"
 * "That's a very nice everything you have there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it."
 * "COME HERE!"
 * "I'm a Dwarf and I'm Digging a Hole!"
 * "Trucking Tuesday! HONK HONK!"
 * "I'M BOSS, BACK OFF."
 * "MOONQUEST.COM!"

Special Notes on Special Quotes

 * "Some men just want to watch the world burn." Simon has used this quote numerous times upon seeing or causing devastation with the use of items that can be lit, shot, etc., causing mass chaos and general mayhem. Most notable is his trademark use of the flint and steel to light up TNT. It can be noted that in Sjin's/Duncan's episode Tekkit - War/ Tekkit with Duncan - Part 34 - Showdown, in about eight/seven and a half minutes in the episode, if you pay attention to the chat going on you will notice Maide will say "Some people just want to watch the world burn." A variant or possibly the original quote from Simon. In the Snapshot 12w34a episode Part III Simon repeats the infamous quote, then says "Some DWARVES just want to watch the world burn." due to the fact that he caused a wildfire.


 * "...; citation needed" Simon often uses this phrase when referring to things that he thinks are true, but the general public and indeed the legal system may not.


 * "It's like a whole new game." Simon often says this quote when a small update occurs, especially in Minecraft, causing him to use this in sarcasm due to the fact, if you still don't get it by now, that the update did little to improve the game as a whole. He also does this when a update occurs that was from a older version of Minecraft, causing his already heavy sarcastic voice to climb up higher volumes and ooze sarcasm. Said ooze is nonexistent.


 * "They dug too deep Lewis, they dug too deep!" The most infamous saying from Simon, besides "Diggy Diggy Hole", caused from a part of the the adventure map of Professor Grizwold, in which dwarves are said to have been killed by the fact that they dug far too deep, and as they say, curiosity killed the cat. Fortunately, satisfaction brought it back, and Simon and Lewis were able to save the day and save the chinamen villagers and Professor Grizwold. In Episode 4 of Rythian's Tekkit Adventure series, a series that is a sub plot to the current Tekkit Series, Zoey put down a sign stating this quote, and also adding "I have awakened." This could be debated as she being a admirer of Honeydew. More recently, the phrase has been mentioned in the Tekkit series on BlueXephos, where Simon often exclaims "We dug too deep, Lewis! When will we ever learn!" Originally this quote is from Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

Solo Projects in Association with Yogscast
Simon has, on rare occasion, managed to hijack the BlueXephos channel on YouTube, enabling him to post content in which he is the central character. This content tends to be superficially innocent and light, but upon closer examination reveals a twisted, diabolical malevolence and passive aggressive Machiavellian instinct that can only mean Simon's ultimate goal for the Yogscast is total world domination. These videos generally fall into two basic yet far reaching categories, which are: Simon Sings, and Simon Plays. Oh, and let's not forget that "Pooping Butt" video.

The Simon Plays (insert game here) series are simple Let's Play videos of various computer/console games such as Portal 2; occasionally voiced in character, with a narrative thread roughly maintained throughout the video.

The Simon's Songs series of videos is a collection of brief musical interludes wherin Simon does his best vocal impersonation of a cat being used to clean a rug. These videos demonstrate Simon's mind at work, as he eventually arrives at the perfect understanding of the two key critical lyrical elements that have defined success for one of his favorite musical artists, Parry Grip, culminating in what is bound to be one of the top music videos of 2011, Elephant Having A Wank. The actual category the video will fall in to, best or worst of 2011, is still in doubt.

Filmography
Title - Character - Year
 * Awesomenauts - Skølldir - 2012
 * Sonic & All-Star Racing Transformed - Yogscast (Simon) - 2013
 * Heroes of Newerth - Professor Repulsor - 2011

Links

 * YouTube
 * Twitter
 * Facebook
 * Twitch
 * Reddit
 * Subreddit
 * Google+
 * Spreadshirt
 * LinkedIn